This Be The Verse (an excerpt) by Philip Larkin
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
Despite the sentiment of the poem my folks did their best as parents. No one is perfect; we are all flawed for a variety of reasons. Most of our “issues” cannot be attributed solely to our mums and dads. Families provide our basic needs – food, clothing, shelter, love, strength, support. My parents gave all of this to me and my sister, Roo, – the building blocks to help us mature and become caring human beings.
Last year I missed my parent’s 60th wedding anniversary because I was in China. This year I missed my mother’s 85th birthday for the same reason. On July 26th my father will turn 85. I am in Montreal right now to spend time with my mother and father, my sister and her partner. There have been too many missed celebrations – especially since I have always felt that birthdays, notably, are important. I believe that it is the one day of the year when I can celebrate the fact that a family member or friend is a part of my life and I want her/him to take centre stage.
When my sister and I were children, our folks exposed us to a wide variety of experiences. They took us to museums, we went camping together, they read aloud to us and they encouraged us to play creatively. We were given the opportunity to go to camp and learn about independence. They took interest in our lives and worried about us (a lot sometimes). They only wanted the best for us. And with their good, hard work we turned out just fine. Just as they are fine people. All four of us are complicated, interesting, generous, and fun, if I do say so myself.
After 9 months overseas and three months back home in Boston I am visiting my family. Below are a small number of photos in which I will celebrate them – and particularly my parents – by turning the lens toward them.
Lovley post and photos..veyr interesting.
thank you. i am extremely fortunate to have such good parents and a wonderful family.
Hey Tamar. Congratulations for putting a lens on the folks. I am sure they appreciate the attention as that generation is so belittled in our society.
Really live in the moment on this trip to Montreal. You and your family deserve it.
not surprisingly, they did not like the camera focus on them – but they accepted my inclination to put it up close to them. my mother was quite surprised to see how old she is and at first was a little upset and then just accepted the facts. she said, “now i know why people get up in the bus and let me sit in their place.”
Thanks Tamara for letting us in a very private room. Touching images and story
thank you. i hope/plan to publish more photographs of them in the future.
Beautiful sentiment, beautiful photos. So nice to see your family!
thank you. it was/is heartfelt.
Great to see Sharona and Yitz at some of their usual activities-reading, playing SCRABBLE and
I have been a devotee of your outstanding photos and your remarks and explanations.
I revisit them often.
Yes! At first they were not thrilled to have me taking photos. If only you knew how many times I heard the words “enough already!” But I think I was able to capture some real Yitz and Sharona moments. I hope there will be more when I spend time with them in Florida. And thank you for the kind words about my blog and photographs. I respect your opinion and appreciate the sentiments.
Hi Tamar, Thanks for sharing. Those are great pictures. I particularly like the old family photo. I can recognize you, such a cute picture! I cannot recognize your mom. In my memory, she looks younger. I met her quite a while ago, I guess. It is very interesting to see that your parents like to play some kind of word puzzle, which reminds me of my dad who is a huge sukoku fan. Very lovely pictures indeed. More personal than my perception of a blog.
yes — this posting is definitely more personal but it is a start to more photographs of my family (i hope). my parents used to play scrabble together nightly – 3 or 4 games at a time. both love words and language. it was only appropriate to capture them reading and playing the games they love.